We Should've Packed The Misses

Undyingsoul steadied his aim as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, his bow held steadily. Western Altepa Desert was going through a heat surge and it was raining heat rays upon him. But he couldn’t have been showed up. Him and his wife Xchelly has just met two people who he thought was cool. Sturyko was a fellow Ranger and his girlfriend Falkinn was a Thief. He and Stu were wasting arrows holding a target competition, passing time until the Notorious Monster popped. This was going to be a tough fight, and it was just the two of them out there, but they were having fun. They wanted this bow, and they’ve suffered the unbearable heat for two hours to get it. They would cast a lot, and the higher roller won the bow, it was just part of their competitiveness. Stu’s shot split the wood in half, he was dead on his aim. Soul sidestepped him and fired his arrow. It traveled with such force that it split Stu’s in half. He looked at Soul amazed. “Lucky.” He said as he turned away. Their target NM was a Doll, and they thought it was weird he popped in the desert but that’s what they heard, so that’s where they went. Soul took a swig of his icy cold water Chell made sure he packed, the girls had went off to the bar in Sandy and were getting to know each other better. So that left he and Stu to bond doing things guys do, shoot arrows at stuff. “So how about you let me join your ls mate?” Stu finally said the words that Soul had been waiting a week for. He thought he was a cool guy and would love for him to join the shell. Soul gladly agreed and welcomed him to Mythic. As to celebrate it, he took aim on a cactuar. “Stu.” Soul said hesitant. “Shh.” He quieted him as the cactuar ran wildly in the distance. The cactuar ran with its arms to the side, he looked like he was trying to learn to fly when the arrow struck him. He made a beeline for them, pricking Stu with his needles. As they fought, laying arrow after arrow until the cactuar was full of them they both cursed. The cactuar readied Thousand Needles. Soul rushed his Sidewinder as Stu let goes his Flaming Arrow. But it was too late, the needles jammed into their bodies causing excruciating pain. The cactuar fainted afterwards, leaving his mark on them. That was the reason people left the cactaurs of the desert alone, they were pricks, literally.

Two hours later and Soul was removing the lay thorn from his body, he had them everywhere and he wouldn’t stop bleeding. He was lucky he didn’t die. He decided to rest, and Stu was taking a knee. That’s when they saw it, in the distance looking odd as fuck. The Idol appeared, and they knew they weren’t being lied to. Stu had overheard some guys talking bout a strange doll in the desert and he puzzled them for information. They gave it to him with a laugh, he didn’t know if he wanted to believe them, but after hearing about the magical bow he dropped he was willing to try. A damage nut like him would do anything for that bow. +7 Strength +7 Agility +30 Ranged Attack and +25 Ranged accuracy. He wondered why they laughed, that was a damn sexy bow. That’s when they told him that NM was never beaten in an actual fight. No one has ever defeated it. He was clueless at what they meant, “So how do people know the bow exists?” he asked. “They just do.” He told them. They also told him the drop rate wasn’t that good on it, but if he wanted to try it, good luck. After they rested to about full health, they pondered how to attack it. It has never been beaten in an actual battle. It played. It really did look out of place here, but nonetheless it popped and it had Goddess Bow with it. They did the only thing they could think of, they sat back, casts their shadows, and prepared to assault it. Stu took his aim, held his breath. He aimed for the head of the doll, his arrow flung forth out of his bow and landed against its head, it bounced off and didn’t affect the monster at all. Stu ran around in a circle, he was kiting it while Soul got his shadows back up and they swapped. Ten minutes into the battle, things were starting to damage it, he was big and slow, and swung even slower than he walked so they kited it perfectly. They dropped it to 50% health and took no real damage themselves. Stu began to scoff at the guys, they made this NM seem like he was top shit, when they would defeat him without a scratch. As Soul aimed Flaming Arrow, the NM turned to him, chasing him around the desert, despite the hot sun they kept their focus on the task at hand. Twenty minutes later the NM dropped to 10% health and Stu almost jumped for joy already. They weren’t running as fast as they were in the beginning thanks in part to a couple of Death Ray’s by the doll. But they will live and have that bow, he was sure of it. When it dropped to 5% Soul set his focus on the final blow. Then he heard it and his heart stopped for a minute, he heard ticking. Loud and clear ticking. Tick… tick… tick… tick… He glanced at Stu, who had dropped his aim and tried to run away, seeing that, Soul followed. He forgot completely he was kiting the Nm so it ran after them, pushing their way past spiders, they were heading for the zone. Then they heard it, a loud Explosion that sent them flying through the air. Unforgiving Idol uses Self-Destruct. The explosion caught them, rocketing them up in the air, they were defeated, and they couldn’t survive that blast. Now it dawned on Stu what that guy meant by this NM was never actually defeated, he always blew himself up. As they lay near the rocks as the Dhamels waslked past them Stu sighed. “It didn’t drop mate.” He broke the bad news. “I knew it, I fucking knew it.” Stu began angrily. “What?” Soul asked. “I knew I should’ve brought the misses.” He said with a laugh. “What is Fal again?” Soul asked, he had forgotten. “She’s a bloody Thief.” That’s when soul cursed, “It may have dropped if she was here huh?” he said as Stu agreed. “Shit.” Soul said. “Better than me.” He added. “I should’ve packed my wife.” “What is Chell again?” Stu asked. “A White Mage.” “I’m confused mate, she couldn’t have saved us, and she would have died with us.” “No, Chell’s smarter than that, she wouldn’t have never followed and would have stayed out of range.” “I see… but the bow didn’t drop. So what would be the point?” “Well… she could’ve raised us, so I can put a hole in that Dhamel over there.” “And that way we wouldn’t smell of Dhamel urine.”