The Reason JustCartilage Hates Camping

“Hurry the hell up goob.” Just yells from outside the moghouse door. “Calm down.” I yell. “I want to get there early before the other campers arrive.” He yelled again. We were planning a camping trip. The destination was Castle Oztroja. I had just packed the last Courier Carrie into my bag, I’m a Beastmaster, so it’s best I have my pets. Just is a Monk, all he had to pack was his knuckles and some beer.
I step out into the fresh air of Port Jeuno, the smell from the sea hits my nose, Just stares at me, a grin growing on his face. “Let’s get me a fucking O-Kote.” He laughed. I grin at him, “We hope so.” “Are we teleporting or hitching the yellow bird?” I ask. “Fuck if I care, just come on.” Just states. “How does that work anyway?” he asked pointing to the flute I carry. “I use it to call a beast to come and fight by my side.” “Looks hella gay on you dude, in my opinion.” “Can we get to camp, we will see how gay it is when it saves your life.” I snap back. He pats me on the shoulder, “Ease up, messing with you.” We step inside the chocobo stable, I put my hand over my nose. “Stinky ass birds.” Just laughs. We pay the rental fare and it’s off we go. “I ain’t leaving without a Kote.” The Galka-man states. “I got all day to burn.” He says as I laugh so hard I almost fall off my bird. We head through the Champaign and make our way to the mountains. After a ten minute bird ride we arrive at our destination. Castle O, as it is referred to.
I get off the bird, “I hate camping.” Just says and he relieves his bird of the weight he put on its back. It limps away, poor chocobo. I think. Just spends 24/7 crafting his cooking, he fishes, he makes money… that’s it…he hates leveling and camping. Me personally I do a mix of them all, but I never really camp, takes too much time, time I could be spending hitting stuff with my axe. We get to the spot we need to be, with Just slapping every Yagudo he sees in sight. We look to our left, we have company. “Gilsellers.” Just tells me like I didn’t know. I see them all the time, Trun and Zzzzzzzz. They are notorious gilsellers in Castle O. I personally despise them.. “Let’s bitch slap Mee Deggi.” Just laughs as he pops him a beer. “No vodka?” I ask. “Not tryna be shitfaced when he pops.” He laughs. I nod my head in agreement, it’s just the four of us out here on a sunny day. Thirty minutes into our trip as me and Just bash Yagudo skulls our minds start to worry. Those two guys haven’t moved a muscle since we got here. I know that’s their aim, they never move until Mee Deggi pops so we have to be sharp.
We know that even the slightest distraction and our Notorious Monster is claimed and it’s another hour of waiting. Just takes a seat in the water, splashing water on a crab as it walks near him. I stare at our competition, “Man their gear sucks.” I laugh. “No shit dude, they don’t care they just want to be rich.” Just states.“So you selling or keeping. This is a sure fire million.” I ask as CC hits a innocent Yagudo. “I want this shit, for me.” Just grins. “You pass up money?” I looked shocked. “I like expensive shit.” He laughed.We get ready to become alert. We see Trun move around, circling the water. “Let’s do this.” Just says. I turn my attention away from the Yagudo CC is devouring, that’s one blood hungry crab. Mee Deggi The Punisher spawns, he takes two steps. Just puts his knuckles on his hands, he runs over towards him. “He’s ours Tone.” He yells. As he prepares to lay blow after blow into him, he can’t. He looks at him puzzled, he sees Trun enticing Mee Deggi. “That fucker voked it.” He yelled. Provoke is a fast way to claim a NM and it’s something neither one of us had. As the gilsellers wail away at the NM Just feels his frustration going through the roof. “That was ours.” He yells angrily, they pay him no mind and they show him no care. “I hate these fuckfaces.” He spat. After Mee Deggi croaks his last breath, they run off. Just kicks water at them as they pass him, they shake their head in disgust at him.“That shit always happen.” He yells. “That’s why I hate camping.” I say, so it’s another hour of sit and waiting for us. I decide to call out my NPC. Karyn takes a seat near me. “Your girlfriend in a bottle is kinda hot.” Just roars with laughter. “Damn straight.” I play along. “She into three-ways?” he asked. “Drunkard.” I look around, twenty minutes has passed since Mee Deggi died, and he shall be making his return in forty more minutes.
Just decided to let out his frustration and Raging Fists a poor crawler.Trun makes his way back towards us, smile spread on his face, arrogant ass. Just looks at him, a menacing glare in his eyes. He didn’t seem intimidated, he just went back to his normal spot to stand. “They piss me off, we do all the hard work and they claim the mob.” I say. I say it loud enough so he can hear me, but he wouldn’t care, he’s a gilseller, he don’t have feelings, they have no soul. After another 30 minutes past, we ready ourselves again. Mee Deggi is ready to pop and we will be ready. Just stopped Yagudo molesting and began circling the water, if he pops, he was his.Mee Deggi spawns to life again. As CC battles a pesky Earth Elemental I get a good view of the NM, he popped near me. I run over and hit him with my axe, it landed cleanly. He was ours. Before Just could reach me, Trun and Zzzzzz ran over to us, looking at me, waiting. Before I knew what was going on Mee Deggi was fighting Trun. I looked puzzled, baffled, confused as fuck. Then it dawned on me, by me dual fighting Mee Deggi at times becomes unclaimed, they noticed that, and they pounced. “Fuckers.” I slap them in the back of the head. I kick them in the shins, I do everything out of anger. They provoked him the minute he became unclaimed. “What the fuck happened?” Just asked. “I can’t dual fight.” I respond. He looks at me and sighs. “He was ours Tone. What the hell dude.” He turned the anger at me.
CC defeats the Elemental and returns to me, his head hung low as he noticed the despair on his masters face. “Let me guess, that little fucker feels what you feel, touching.” Just replied snappily. Mee Deggi dies and Trun adds insult to injury, O-Kote is his, and he bows to me… thanking me. Zzzzz pats me on the back, I withdraw me axe. I turn to them, pointing it at them. “Dude.” Just slapped me, “Go ahead and get yourself banned.” He reminded me of the player vs player fighting rules, it’s a bannable offense to attack another player with weapons or magic unless in Ballista or Brenner. I put the axe back at my side and sigh. Nothing we can do. Two hours into the trip and me and Just have become irate, Mee Deggi was scheduled to pop again in the next twenty minutes. There wasn’t any talking going on between us. It was odd, Trun and his partner have not made a return to us yet. We figured they have went home and left us to camp it all alone. Five minutes to Mee Deggi the timer in my head popped. And here comes the assholes turning the corner. As my phone rang off, I looked down to check who it was that was texting me. I smile as I typed into my phone again, I was using it to pass the time since Just went on a silent treatment mode. He figured us chatting messed us up and we need to focus. I hear fighting going on beside me and I look up and stare angrily. “Oh my fucking god.” I cry in disgust.

Mee Deggi spawned right next to me, but I was typing in my phone. “Fuck fuck fuck.” I scream. Just comes around to see the NM claimed and looked at me, the guilty look on my face, phone in my hand, I was caught. “Tell me…” he began, his cheeks puffed, he was a little drunk. “Tell me… we didn’t lose claim, cause you were on your phone.” I looked down like a little kid being scolded for eating candy before dinner. I was caught, I had no lie in my brain. “What model is your phone, let me see.” Just asked as he extended his arms. I hand him the phone. “You have long distance?” he asked. “Yeah.” I reply confused. He turned away from me and chucked it as far as he could up onto the upper levels of the castle. “Good.” He replied and retreated back to Yagudo killing for another hour.I sat there, Rampaging Yag after Yag after Yag. I had no one to talk to, Just ignored me, he chucked my phone and my NPC left a hour ago, only person I could speak to was my pets, but I’d be crazy to chat with them. I wanted to go home, this camp was a disaster and I felt like I wasted four hours of my life, but Just was a good friend, one of the best I had and this meant a lot to him. So I stayed. Mee Deggi was popping soon again and I wanted this bastard, drop or not, just to claim it.I saw no one around us. I look off into the distance, expecting to see our buddies walking down the hallway. I sat on the edge of the water, I skipped a rock. I heard splashing coming from around me, I looked around confused. I saw dust kick up and saw footprints. “What the hell?” I looked shocked. Then it hit, those fuckers. “They Invisible.” I yell to Just to keep him alert. The gilsellers are really fucking with us now. They made themselves invisible to make it seem like they left us along to camp Mee Deggi. The footstep stopped right in front of me. I felt a finger poke me, and he shushed me. “Be quiet.” The voice spoke. I was baffled, I thought all gilsellers were Chinese. Mee Deggi popped near Just. He wasted no time at all. Before his punch landed, Trun provoked it. His fist was so close to his face too. Just let out a angry growl.
He turned and began to walk away. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face me, his eyes were bloodshot. “Where you going?” “To go get these guys a Ballista request. I’m fucking them tonight, prison style.” He says as he walked off. I followed behind him, “So you just gonna quit?” “Hell yah, I could’ve made so much money in the hours I wasted here.” He replied angrily. “These fuckers suck.” He spat on the wall. “I’m hot, sweaty, stinky and O-Kote-less.” “One more Just.” I call to him. “Then we leave and do something else.” I try to make him feel better. He gives in and we return, time to play the sitting game for one more hour. Just is out of it, he’s drunk, right now every Yagudo looks like Mee Deggi, he yells I got him on a normal mob. He went into his reserve Vodka stash. He was shitfaced but he seemed happy. When his eyes cleared a second, he saw him. “Mee Deggi The Fucking Punisher.” He shouted. He’s closer to Just than he is me. I see the gilsellers whisper something and I watch them as they follow just. He stumbles towards the NM. “Viva La Mythic.” He yells. Trun steps closely behind him, he staggerdly equips his knuckles. “Total Rapage.” He slurs. He extends his arm to hit him, he lands flat on his face and is introduced to a mouthful of dirt. I see Trun and Zzzzzz die with laughter as they Provoke Mee Deggi. They tripped him, tripped the drunkard, I was thinking he would have fell on his face regardless. Just banged his mighty fist against the ground. “I hate camping.” He yelled. After Mee Deggi was dead.
Trun and Zzzzz were having a field day, they were pretending to clip each other up, who knew gilsellers had a funny bone. I dust Erick off and I head out of the tunnel, Mee Deggi has frustrated me today and I’m tired of being here, six hours no claim. I’ll camp him again in another year from now. I see Just having a word with Trun, he’s stopped laughing and had a serious expression on his face. After a minute or two Just storms off and catches me in the hallway. “Gave them a piece of your mind bro?” I ask. He shook his head, “I just….” He began. “…. Got their number, I’m getting that Kote tonight, and they going to give me a discount.”