Two Of A Pair

Biofao looked at his longtime friend Fico in amazement. “You sure you want to do this?” he questioned. Bio was getting a little nervous at what was ahead of them. Being a Black Mage, Bio never had any fear of ripping a monster a new one with elemental spells, but Fico had other plans for them tonight. Fico shrugged him off. “Yeah, don’t be such a puss.” He laughed, tapping Bio on the shoulder. Fico was a proud Warrior, able to deal out damage with the best of them. He laced up his Hauberk and tied his Thick Boots. Bio firmly placed the cloak’s hood over his head. They left the moghouse and set out with what he knew would wind up being their deaths. But Fico was his best friend, and he’d do anything for him. Windurst Woods was quiet tonight, Bio observed the fishes swimming in the ponds. He watched as they swam freely, knowing that sooner or later they would end up tied and sold to the highest bidder. Fico led the way to the Chocobo stables and ordered himself a bird. “The chances of us living are?” Bio pondered, he didn’t really care if he died. “Slim to shit.” Fico laughed. They shared a moment of laughter. They decided to do this on their own seeing as how they didn’t want to trouble the others with it. Fico had his Axe’s polished and ready and Bio had himself a wide collection of staves. Fico wanted this armor badly, and he would do anything to get it, and Bio sensed that. They just didn’t want to trouble any others that were busy to drop what they were doing and come on a death trip with them. He kicked his heels and the bird took off, flying out of the gate. Bio was on his heels as the raced through the Sauromugue outlands. “Reraise, Blink.” Bio was making a verbal checklist on what to cast upon himself. “Calm down, this won’t be easy but I guarantee you we will stand a fighting chance.” He assured him. “If you say, you’re used to getting me killed.” He laughed. “I’m also used to doing your wife but you never brag about that to the guys.” Fico countered. “I know what you mean, your wife is horrible, no need to be joyous there.” Bio had himself a laugh.


They decided to do this on their own seeing as how they didn’t want to trouble the others with it. Fico had his Axe’s polished and ready and Bio had himself a wide collection of staves. Fico wanted this armor badly, and he would do anything to get it, and Bio sensed that. They just didn’t want to trouble any others that were busy to drop what they were doing and come on a death trip with them. He kicked his heels and the bird took off, flying out of the gate. Bio was on his heels as the raced through the Sauromugue outlands. “Reraise, Blink.” Bio was making a verbal checklist on what to cast upon himself. “Calm down, this won’t be easy but I guarantee you we will stand a fighting chance.” He assured him. “If you say, you’re used to getting me killed.” He laughed. “I’m also used to doing your wife but you never brag about that to the guys.” Fico countered. “I know what you mean, your wife is horrible, no need to be joyous there.” Bio had himself a laugh. They entered the Canyon and made their way to the Maze of Shakhrami. That’s where the Notorious Monster was located. Before they got off their birds Fico double-checked that Bio was okay with this. Bio nodded his head and they got off. The warm sun caused beads of sweat to drip down their foreheads. They entered and made their way until the bottom floor, around the area where he was suppose to pop. Rattnix, a goblin NM dropped what Fico calls Godly pants gear. It had +5 Strength, +5 Dexterity and +8 Attack and +8 Accuracy. He only spawns once a day and today his camp was empty. They were Rare/Ex also, so that means that the gilsellers stayed away from him. Fico sat on the bones that were near him, “Shall we kill the place holders?” he asked Bio. He was busy casting Freeze on a nearby scorpion. He chanted and chanted and then it came out, cold swept through the area as the scorpion was engulfed in a pool of ice before he was release into his death. “Cute.” Fico scoffed and patted him of the back. He picked up a pebble and launched it in the Goblin Tinkerer’s area. It bounced off of his leg and he turned angrily towards him. He started casting Aspir, and Fico couldn’t help but laugh seeing as how dumb the monster is since he has zero magic points. When he undid his axes from its belt, he held them in both hands, laying weight into the Goblin’s body armor. Each hit cutting its way into the monster’s flesh. He didn’t last long and he gave up and died. They sat there hours, having fun beating up on the innocent bystanders.

Fico tossed Bio a beer as they took a breath, Bio pulled out his food stash. “Fat Fucker.” Fico laughed, “Damn Straight.” Bio said as he dipped into his fresh rolanberry pie. “Jealous?” he asked with rolanberries smeared on his face. “All I have is this hedgehog flavored crap.” Fico took it out of his bag. He looked over it, disgusted. “Gimme a bite.” He cried as he snatched it out of his hands. Bio wrestled with him for a moment, the hunger was inside of him and friend or not, you touch his food and that meant death. They tussled for a second, laughing as though they were drunk. Bio managed to wrestle the pie out of Ficos’ hand and devoured it for himself. He reached into his bag and pulled out his favorite drink, brewed by the Yagudo’s in Giddeus. He chugged at it, teasing Fico with it, as Fico munched on his hedgehog pie. He washed down the awful taste with even more awful distilled water, all because Bio refused to share. He stared at him, hatred in his eyes as his stomach began to ache. Fico was hacking away at mob after mob, it’s been six hours they’ve been here with no other company besides them. Despite the food war, he and Bio kept up the chit chat. That’s when he saw it. Rattnix popped, and he grew hungry for those pants. He nudged Bio to get ready and he took all the precautions needed to buff himself. As Bio ready to cast Bio II on the NM, he stopped. Sweat poured down his forehead and his finger shook nervously. Rattnix had his eyes on them, but they were out of aggro range. He turned away from the NM and walked towards the corner of the room. Fico looked amazed and followed him. “Something wrong?” he ended up asking, he was dying to know. “Nervous, give me a second.” Bio shook him off. “Come on, do you let your sons get nervous before a big game?” he questioned him. “No, I tell them suck it up like a man.” “Then do that.” “But I’m a little Taru.” Bio had a quick laugh. “Be a man,” he ushered him on. “Then won’t you go hit it.” He dared. Fico looked over at Rattnix, standing there with his dagger in hand. “Naw, I’m okay.” Fico replied. He took a seat near Bio. “Go ahead, you’re a Warrior.” “He looks likes he may eat me.” Fico laughed. “I can’t believe we get here and puss out.” Bio laughed, taking another sip from his drink. “We can always say we beat it but it didn’t drop pants.” Fico thought. “We could say he was a tough son of a bitch and you even get to be there hero.” They laughed at the idea.

They kept Rattnix company for a hour, “Do you want to just warp out of here?” Bio asked Fico. “Nope… I’m good, I’m tempted to try it.” Fico said, his knees clanging together. “Yeah.” Bio nodded in agreement. “It’s just death right.” As Bio stood up, he sat back down, this time even more timid than before. As time went by, Rattnix stood there looking restless, almost pleading with them to walk into aggro range. “Think he’ll come to us?” Bio asked. “No he’s a Goblin, he’s lazy.” Was how Fico replied. He seemed as though he heard them, but he wouldn’t move. “Dude…” “What are we doing.” Bio stood on his feet and said. As he did this Rattnix looked over and him and readied his daggers, two more steps and he can pounce on these two he thought. Another hour has past and they all sat in there spots, all three of them. “My kid has a hockey game in an hour, I got to get out of here.” Bio stated. He opted to just warp Fico out of here but Fico opted to stay. He searched around his bag and took out the hedgehog pie, he cupped it in his hands. “You’ll probably like this.” He shouted as he chucked it at Rattnix. “Fico!” Bio screamed. Rattnix made his way towards them. Neither one of them had buff themselves yet. Rattnix had all the anger in the world inside of him and he decided now he would unleash it, he sat there for hours waiting on these two. He reached into his gobbie bag, fiddled around pulled out a bomb. “Oh for fucks sake.” Bio screamed. Rattnix lit the fuse, gave them the finger, and dropped it onto the ground, causing the whole area to quake when it exploded. Rattnix died with a smile on his face as Bio and Fico lay next to him. Their bodies couldn’t take the inferno that has lit the area of the camp ablaze, satisfied he vanished. “Dead. I knew it.” Bio whispered to him. “The pants dropped.” Fico said excited. “You have Reraise up right, get up and pass the pants.” Fico ordered, he was dead, but he was smiling. “No dipshit, I had no time to cast it before you chucked your prison food at him.” Bio replied. “You kidding me right.” Fico said. As time went by they wondered who can rush to raise them, but before they knew it, the pants dropped. Biofao obtains Goblin’s Slacks. Bio didn’t know it, but a little part of Fico screamed on the inside. Then there was laughter, Fico was laughing hard, he knew that would happen, he just knew it. “My luck.” He muttered as they enjoyed the laugh together. “Beats dying 30 feet away from the crag with no raisers near us.” Bio smiled at the memory.